#like i cant get a grasp on all the how do you say... gender stuff in regards 2 my headspace

[wistfulfag]

been thinking about goin by (chucky voice) genda fluid lately....

[homophyte]

okay im going to be vulnerable and admit though ive owned house of leaves for a few months i was spurred to start reading it the other day after watching that video on myhouse.wad . no one make fun of me. that being said.

im not necessarily going though it super in depth and more just trying to unravel some stuff for funsies with some various help from old forums and what strikes me as sometimes glaringly missing from discussions on the book is the way it relates to women. like the fact that the house itself is treated as though it has a female identity will get talked about but theres not rlly discussions about the ramifications of that--how will and holloways posturing--named as explicitly about 'male dominance'--is essentially a fight over who gets to get the girl. wills early venture into the house is literally likened to karen kissing wax, like theyre BOTH infidelities, and thats not nearly the first time karen herself treats the situation like the house is her romantic rival or at least rival for wills attention (im not far enough in to have too solid a grasp on the implications of the name delial--but lets just say i have a suspicion?).

anyway whats maybe even more interesting than that is the way its kinda ALL about gender--its men who keep entering the house desperate to know what its about, its men driven to write about it and uncover its secret knowledge, and it drives them fucking crazy. like...you can read that--VERY EASILY--as men 'discovering' the ""hidden"" interiority of women, like, the very idea that women are complex people with their own ideas and emotions and inner worlds. the fact that the house has a secret inside is huge fucking news and just about every man in the novel reacts to it as such, but the reactions from women are like...not that. idk im not done with it by any means but the similarity between the conversations between karen & wax at the end ch VII and johnny & thumper at the end of VIII really apparent. when thumper is listening to johnny, seeking to understand him, being really invested and interested and not reacting with annoyance or disdain or boredom like he expects, it genuinely really knocks him out to the point he nearly cries--and then he bottles it up, writes it off, even when she echoes karens exact words flirting with wax he doesnt register it.

the text displays a consciousness around gendered expectations here, particularly bc thumper is a sex worker, that she cant be expected to intellectually engage w it, but she can and does...and then johnny doenst know what to DO about it, how to engage w a real moment of understanding between the sexes or whatever so he very consciously falls back on gender expectations for men and refuses to feel that connection, severing the tie he inadvertently built w her and consigning the moment to unknowable blackness. the void is invented by people determined to treat it as foreign--which often means treating it as hostile (holloways gun, johnnys suspicions when thumper didnt call him back).

that she ends with the comment 'you just need to get out of the house' is like...almost laughably on the nose especially w the way chauvanist culture has proliferated on the internet. like in the book too, dont get me wrong, its just so startlingly accurate to whats going on it seems like she really must UNDERSTAND in a way johnny fails to capture in his narration but still comes through due to her being kinda fucking great--sorry i REALLY like thumper in this actually she may be my favorite. its sort of difficult for me to look at the line and divorce it in my head from the phenomenon of the incel--read a certain way, you have johnny ranting and raving about how he just cant ever figure out what the collective 'woman' is thinking and all this time hes spent driving himself crazy about it, and thumper listening and understanding and very sympathetically and honestly saying 'that wouldnt be a big deal if you interacted w women instead of holing up inside trying to theorize about it.'

i dont necessarily think its a mistake that johnny is the kind of person he is, a partying womanizer or whatever, bc sex becomes his only interaction w women (his failure to talk abt the book w kyrie in favor or fucking her) just as entering the house becomes wills only interaction w it (or at least he rages when he cant have that interaction, he values it above others). the book is pretty clear about both of these acting as forms of penetration. as johnny gets more invested in the text he interacts more and more w the women zampano used as interpreters and comes more and more into contact w women and less and less able to deny their interiority.

the reaction from men that women are people is simple and plain disbelief, followed by disconnected, invasive, rigorous study, study that is likened to war, to surgery, to expedition--anything but understanding. its kind of baffling idk maybe im just not looking in the right place to see people talking about it but this sorta feels like...the point. hell even earlier in ch VII on page 91 you get will and holloway excitedly talking about calling the press about their huge discovery that no one will believe...and then just, karen, living her life, treated like an enigma. i literally have this written in my notes as "men discover women have internality; their wives decline to comment"

[procrastinatingsoicanreadfanfics]

okay so first off THANK YOUU for including alethia in YOUR gorgeous story!!! i can't believe we're playing with our ocs like dolls but ig that's the whole point isn't it :))

Rhaella forces a smile. “You don’t have to do that; it’s your wedding; focus on you.”

i hate this, actually. in the sense that, helaena should not have to marry aegon. i love that you give it a sense of normalcy that makes it abundantly clear that what is happening is totally okay with rhaella/daereon in the targ/societal sense. the distress isn't coming from helaena, a pre-teen marrying her brother, but from being forced into a dress and out of her comfort zone. fucking brilliant, thanks for making me cry.

“In a way, I have it better than you do,” she teased, a mischievous glint in her eyes.

oh no. oh no no no you are NOT doing this, not rn. i HATE if this is foreshadowing, and i hate it anyway bc neither of them have it good in any way.

It represents that the Baratheons and Targaryens have been friends

lol. not in two centuries.

“Yes, but what does that matter? Tons of Houses have their gifts planted here. What makes that flower special?”

i love this! the idea that a lot of houses have a special something planted in the Red Keep gardens is so cute

symbolizes that you belong here just as much as everyone else.” He brought their faces close, his forehead pressed against hers. “I know it; you know it. Everyone else just has yet to see it. But they will. I promise they will.”

okay now kiss.

Perhaps his newfound responsibilities have begun to force maturity onto the boy.

:(

Beside him stood a woman Rhaella had never seen before.

DFLGASHGLJKSDFGIOJSLFKGHLHLKJH:K ;JKWGHSLGJDHBKGJFSDHGJKLSLFGJ S;GGHGLAKHGFLJKHALJKGFH BABYGIRLLLLLL ALETHIAAA

Helaena mumbles to herself

HNNNNGGGGGGGHHHHHH JACK OH MY GODDDDD

“I’ve heard whispers about her from my handmaidens. Rumors say she washed ashore one day, and Ser Harwin rescued her.”

that's... one way to put it. helaena, girlypop, do me a favour and do NOT think about your dreams too much. might blow al's cover and stuff.

Her hands grasp at her belly, desperate to make the unending pain stop.

apart from the fact that this is incredibly horrible for rhaella, ykw is kinda funny? i got my period right before i started this chapter lol.

I'm just gonna sum up my thoughts on the last part of the chapter bc i cant possibly put the whole entire thing in my notes. i love it!!! ik i keep saying that, but, jack, the way you write subtle double meanings into your chapters is FUCKING BRILLIANT okay. from rhaella being uncomfy at helaena's dress shopping for all the wrong reasons, to the way daereon is clearly experiencing gender dysphoria later on, and everyone just takes it for being afraid of getting a period. the queer way that alicent tries to comfort him, and how daereon wants no children for HIS reasons.

this encapsulates that perfectly: “I don’t…I don’t know. Everything hurts and feels wrong. Like this shouldn’t be happening.”

and finally, and less significantly, i am so glad i could help with the medieval heating pad issue :)

You’ll Always Be My Prince: Chapter Four—The Flowers

go to the previous chapter || go to the next chapter || back to the series masterlist

chapter summary: it’s been two years since the incident on driftmark. two years since aemond lost his eye and claimed the she-dragon, vhagar. since then, rhaella and aemond have begun to grow up. aemond has made leaps and bounds in his swordsmanship, whereas rhaella finds herself facing a foe not even he can protect her from.

chapter warnings: rhaella waters’ pov, creator chose not to use archive warnings.

length: 4.3k || read on ao3 || join my taglist

a/n: huge apologies for taking nearly eight months to get another chapter out! i hope it won't be that way in the future, but we'll see. i've written and rewritten this chapter dozens of times, and i've finally found success with this version of it. i hope you like it as much as i do! please let me know what you think!

ik i usually provide chapter warnings, but i don't want the tags to spoil the chapter! it's worth it i promise!

and a huge thank you to @procrastinatingsoicanreadfanfics for letting me include her oc alethia stahl in this chapter! i highly recommend you go check out alethia's story in woman of the watch!

“Isn’t it beautiful?” Helaena asks, holding up an elegant white dress over her head. Adorned with lace and embroidered flowers, it’s a grand wedding dress suitable for any noblewoman. “Do you see the beading along the middle, Rhaella?” The princess lowers the dress, exposing her face, vibrant violet eyes shining in excitement. 

Rhaella nods, looking the dress up and down. She covers her boredom and discomfort with a smile, not wanting to rain on Helaena’s parade. “Yes, Princess. Do you like this more than the last one?” At this point, the pair—well, Helaena—have been trying on dresses for no less than an hour, trying to find the perfect dress for Princess Helaena’s upcoming wedding to her brother, Aegon.

Helaena thought for a moment before responding. “I don’t know. The last one fits funny.” Without saying another word, Helaena stands. Ridding herself of her loose-fitting dress, she pulled the wedding dress on over her head. She doesn’t put it on properly, holding the waist taunt. She spins in a circle in front of a full-body mirror. “I like this one!” Helaena turns to look at Rhaella, who returns her gaze with a smile.

“It looks beautiful on you,” Rhaella hums, pulling her knees to her chest. The skirt of her dress slid down her bare legs, bunching at her slim waist. Now one-and-two years old, Rhaella’s no longer permitted to wear the tunics and breeches she prefers outside the Keep. Wearing them made her feel sick, her skin crawling and her stomach churning with every step she took wearing one. She does her best to ignore it, however. It doesn’t work very often. Helaena switches back to her previous pink dress, laying her wedding gown on a table at the other end of the room. 

“We must find you a dress, too,” hums the Princess with a smile, sitting with her legs crossed on the floor across from her. “It will be fun, Rhaella!”

Rhaella forces a smile. “You don’t have to do that; it’s your wedding; focus on you.”

“No, no. You’re my friend; I’ve got to take care of you, too!”

Rhaella knows Helaena means well, but her stomach can’t help but churn at the thought. “Are you sure? You don’t have to.”

Helaena nods enthusiastically, grasping their hands within her own. “It’ll be fun! I want to hang out with you more. We’re cousins, but I hardly know anything about you.”

She stifles a chuckle. She had only started spending time with Helaena after Aemond expressed his worries over Rhaella being alone. Going into it, Rhaella thought she’d hate it but found the opposite. Assuming her cousin to be a quiet and rather uninteresting girl, Helaena proved a fascinating conversationalist if given a chance. “If…If you’re sure, then okay,” Rhaella sighs, squeezing her hands back. 

A knock sounded at the chamber door, and Helaena let them in. It was her mother, Queen Alicent. “Have you picked a dress, sweetheart?” she asks, hands folded in front of her. Helaena nods, standing. She picks the dress up to show her, smiling behind it. “It is a wonderful choice, my dear.”

“Thank you, Mother.” 

Alicent offers Rhaella a polite smile. It did not look forced but did not appear as she wished to converse with her. Rhaella returns the gesture. She turns back to her daughter. “It is nearly noon. Come for lunch when you have finished; your father wishes for a family meal.”

Helaena nods with a hum. Quietly, she slips the dress onto a hanger, handing it to one of her handmaidens. Another of her handmaidens helps Helaena into a fancier dress. It was still loose fitting, as the princess despised tight-fitting garments. The solid gold background has mini dark green diamonds dotted along it, her skirts reaching the floor. The previous handmaiden weaves two braids into Helaena’s hair. She threads both plaits into one, pulling them together to form a half-up, half-down look. “See you later,” Helaena says, waving goodbye to Rhaella as she leaves her chambers, handmaidens following.

Rhaella didn’t know whether to follow her or not. It’s clear The Queen did not view her as family, or else she would’ve spoken to them both. I am only a bastard, after all, Rhaella thinks. I would not be welcome there. Left alone with nothing but her thoughts, she left Helaena’s chambers, gently closing the door behind her. Knowing she doesn’t want to sit alone in her room feeling sorry for herself, Rhaella finds herself roaming the twisting pathways of the Keep’s garden.

The gardens of the Red Keep are vastly different from the singular garden within High Tide’s walls. High Tide’s garden has exotic plants, symbols of Corlys Velaryon’s many conquests. In contrast, the Red Keep’s many gardens were outfitted primarily with plants native to King’s Landing and the surrounding regions. The garden she found herself in—the royal one—was the fanciest of them all. Surrounded by flowering bushes and tall trees with multicolored leaves, she recalls a memory of her and Aemond here a few months prior.

“Do you like it here?” Aemond asked.

Rhaella looked up at him. Aemond had grown taller these past few months, shooting up like a weed where she had yet to grow an inch. They leisurely walked arm in arm, enjoying the peacefulness around them. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, do you like it here? Like, in King’s Landing?” Aemond’s tone implied there was more he wished to say but kept hidden within himself instead.

She looked up to the cloudless blue sky. “Most of the time. Why?”

Aemond sighed quietly. “It’s just…I’ve noticed that I’m your only company. I never see you spending time with anyone else.”

“I don’t really care for the others here. They’re either jerks or boring.” Rhaella doesn’t give an entirely honest answer. Even if she tried to branch out and make friends with others here, few are willing to speak with her, let alone become an acquaintance. 

Her words made Aemond chuckle, a smile spreading across his lips. It made Rhaella giggle as well. “You’re not wrong.” He knew there was more to the situation than what she said, but he had learned to pick his battles wisely.

“Why do you ask? At least, why now? It’s been this way for a while,” Rhaella countered, now looking him in the eyes again.

Aemond doesn’t keep her gaze. “I don’t want you to be unhappy.” Suddenly, he stopped in his tracks, startling Rhaella. He gazed at the tall, flowered hedges in front of them. The flowers crawled up the hedge on thin vines, their blooms a vibrant purple, just like Aemond’s remaining eye. He plucked it from the vine and turned to Rhaella, tucking it behind her ear. “I don’t have as much free time anymore,” he said softly, voice laden with a subtle sadness.

She took his free hand within both of hers, his other hand busy brushing the hair from Rhaella’s face. “You don’t need to worry about that, Ae.” She squeezed his hand reassuringly. “Besides, you’re a prince. It’d be strange if you did have free time.” 

Aemond nodded in agreement, chuckling softly.

“In a way, I have it better than you do,” she teased, a mischievous glint in her eyes.

“Oh yeah? How so?” He asked with a smirk as if daring Rhaella to prove it.

“Being a royal prince, such as yourself, you have all these duties and standards to uphold. Your life’s filled with noise, whereas I get to sleep past breakfast and stroll the halls in peace.” Her words scared away the looming sadness that had begun to form over Aemond as they both erupted in giggles.

Aemond placed his hand atop hers, squeezing it back. “I suppose you’re right, Rhae,” he said, a smile returning.

As they resumed their stroll, they soon found themselves at the end of the pathway. The path spat them out at the center of the garden. When faced with the heart of the garden, the winding pathways seem trivial, as if they belonged to some minor lord. The center expanded further than Rhaella could see, every inch flooded with rare vegetation and expensive plants, an obvious flaunt of House Targaryen’s wealth and decadence.

“Do you know the story of this place?” Aemond asked. Rhaella shook her head no. Aemond led them to a bench, sitting down as he began to tell the story. “After Aegon the Conqueror was crowned King, he returned to King’s Landing. At the time, the city was no more than a muddy army camp with a small town surrounding it. In his first years as king, Aegon built what would become this city. He couldn’t finish it, but his successors did. When Houses swore fidelity to King Aegon, many gifted him with extravagant plants and things like that. King Aegon’s successors planted many of them here, in the royal garden, to show those sworn to them that they cherished their gifts.” Aemond pointed to the flowerbed behind them, at an exotic-looking flower, the petals a rich blue. Rhaella twists around to see what he is pointing at. “See that?”

Rhaella smiled and nodded, “It’s beautiful.” She turned her head to look at him. “But what’s so special about that one?” she asked.

Aemond smiled back, unmistakably delighted she asked. “That was a gift to King Aegon from his Hand—Orys Baratheon—when he was named Lord of Storm’s End.”

“So?”

“So,” Aemond repeated, “It represents that the Baratheons and Targaryens have been friends since the beginning. Since before the beginning, even. Orys Baratheon came with King Aegon from Old Valyria to Westeros.”

“Yes, but what does that matter? Tons of Houses have their gifts planted here. What makes that flower special?” Rhaella asks, confused at the point Aemond was attempting to make. 

The pair sit correctly on the bench again, albeit facing one another. Aemond took Rhaella’s hands within his own this time. “It matters because you’re half Baratheon, Rhae. That flower,” Aemond gestured toward it with his chin, “symbolizes that you belong here just as much as everyone else.” He brought their faces close, his forehead pressed against hers. “I know it; you know it. Everyone else just has yet to see it. But they will. I promise they will.”

They sit together like that for a while, breathing the same air and existing in the same space. Rhaella eventually pulled him in for a hug, her arms wrapped around his shoulders, her face pressed into the crook of his neck. “Thank you,” she whispered in his ear.

Rhaella hears someone shout behind her, pulling her back to the present day. She found herself sitting at the same bench she sat on with Aemond, the flower behind her in full bloom. Birds chip from their perches in the trees, chatting with pretty songs. The sky was clear and bright, just like that day months ago. Looking over her shoulder, she sees Aemond waving at her from a balcony overlooking the garden. Seeing him, Rhaella races closer to the balcony so neither would have to yell at the other.

“Rhae!”

“Hey, Ae! What’re you doing? I thought you were having a family lunch!” she calls up, a hand shielding her eyes from the sun that beat down on them. 

Aemond leans against the railing, gazing down at his friend. His silver hair has grown longer in the past years, the ends brushing the middle of his chest. He was beginning to grow out of his childlike, boyish face and into that of a handsome young prince. Seeing her friend grow up before her eyes stirs something within her that Rhaella would rather ignore. Aemond grins at her as he speaks. “Father was called away for a small council meeting!” His arms were crossed across the railing, giving him an air of confidence. “You busy?” 

She shakes her head no.

“Well, me and Aegon have to train with Ser Criston in the courtyard, and I thought you might want to come watch. I’ve gotten better since last time!” A lock of hair falls from behind his ear, fanning out like a beautiful silver curtain. 

“Oh yeah?” Rhaella grins back, raising an eyebrow at him.

“Oh yeah,” Aemond returns her sarcasm with confidence. 

Rhaella crosses her arms over her chest. “Guess I’ll just have to come watch you then, huh?”

“Guess you gotta,” he hums, teasing her. “See you there, Rhae?”

She nods, humming back. “Can’t wait to see you fall on your ass, Ae!” Rhaella says with a giggle, disappearing underneath the balcony. 

Rhaella makes her way to the courtyard Aemond spoke of. It is the same yard Aemond trained in years ago with his nephews, Jacaerys and Lucerys, so Rhaella had little trouble getting there. Climbing the stairs to the balconies surrounding the courtyard, she sits at one of the many terraces bordering the yard. The area wasn’t crowded, surprising her, as many ladies of the court found watching the two Targaryen princes spar peak entertainment. Maybe I’m just early, she thought. It would be nice not to deal with swooning women, though.

Aegon appears in the courtyard first. He has cut his hair shorter in the past weeks, most likely in preparation for his upcoming wedding. He, too, had grown taller, now towering over Rhaella. She doesn’t interact with him often, but when she does, he isn’t as crude to her as he was in the past. Perhaps his newfound responsibilities have begun to force maturity onto the boy. Aemond enters right after, spinning his sword by his side. He wore a special eyepatch with two straps to keep it in place as he fought. He and his brother have since graduated from wooden swords to dulled metal sparring swords. 

Ser Criston came out last, wearing his arming doublet and thick breeches, arming himself with a sparring sword. He calls the boys names, gaining their attention. The brothers stand beside each other in front of the knight, Aegon showing far less enthusiasm than his brother. Aemond and Aegon are roughly the same height now, which means Aegon can’t look down on his little brother anymore. “Today, we will continue working on swordplay and evasiveness. You both have improved tremendously, so I will stand aside during sparring, assessing your progress silently. Notes will be afterward, as I want you both to evaluate the situation and correct your mistakes without my input molding your decisions. Understood?” Both boys nod. Criston backs away, his body parallel with the weapons racks scattered along the sidelines.

By now, the balconies and connecting walkways have flooded with people, predominantly noble ladies and their handmaidens. Down in the courtyard, a few lords watch from the sidelines. Rhaella can’t make out most of the lord’s faces, save but one. Ser Harwin Strong. He hasn’t been seen at the Keep for many a year for reasons unknown to Rhaella. Beside him stood a woman Rhaella had never seen before. Leaning over the railing for a better look, the woman wore her long, dirty blonde hair loose, letting it fan across her strong shoulders. She wore a simple—but undoubtedly elegant—blue dress. Rhaella can’t make out the details of it, but she can make out accents of green and red throughout the fabric. 

The colors of House Strong. Ser Harwin’s house, she thinks. Rhaella leans back in her seat. Are they married? Wouldn’t I have heard someone talk about the wedding of the son of a prominent House like theirs?

Footsteps sound behind her, and Rhaella turns to see Helaena walking up the stairs. She sits beside her with a smile, hands smoothing out her dress. The clanging of swords echoes off the walls, paired with the occasional pained grunting or a frustrated yell. Rhaella glances at the stranger next to Ser Harwin, then at Princess Helaena. 

She would probably know something of her. Rhaella shifts in her seat, facing her body toward Helaena. “Can I ask you a question?” she asks, fingers fidgeting with the hem of her skirt.

Helaena’s eyes glitter with intrigue. “Mhmm,” he hums with a nod. 

“You see Ser Harwin? Down there in the training yard?” The princess nods again. “Who is the woman next to him? I’ve never seen her before, and even from up here, I can tell she’s not from the South.”

Princess Helaena leans closer to the railing but maintains a respectful distance from the edge to prevent dizziness. When her eyes land on the woman in question, Helaena mumbles to herself. Rhaella caught parts, but what she manages to piece together doesn’t mean much to her.

She tries again with—what she thinks—is a simple question this time. “Is she Ser Harwin’s lady-wife?”

Helaena responds quietly, “I’ve heard whispers about her from my handmaidens. Rumors say she washed ashore one day, and Ser Harwin rescued her.”

Just as Rhaella moves to respond, a searing pain erupts within her, unlike anything she has experienced before. She imagines this is what battle must feel like. A white-hot blade piercing her tender abdomen, slicing the muscles up her thighs and across the tops of her slender hips. Her hands grasp at her belly, desperate to make the unending pain stop. A wave of nausea washes over her, adding another layer of misery.

Helaena looks at her with panic, then with a sympathetic understanding. She calls over her handmaidens, who were chatting quietly amongst themselves and the other ladies-in-waiting. Helaena speaks to them, but Rhaella could not hear her, as the pain blinded her to anything else. Two handmaids help Rhaella stand, her legs shaky as the jelly on her breakfast toast. Once Rhaella is safely down the stairs, the remaining ladies do their best to dab away the bloody splotch left behind on the expensive cushioning.

The handmaidens rush Rhaella to her chambers and into the washroom. They carefully help her disrobe. Her skirts are soiled with blood, the same with her inner thighs. Rhaella lets the women do as they please, allowing them to manipulate her like a marionette doll with its strings cut. The women speak to her, asking her questions and if what they’re doing is okay, but Rhaella doesn’t understand them. As if her head were underwater or as if they were speaking a language she didn’t know. She felt herself guided into a bathtub. The warm water feels good against her skin. One of the women asks permission to help her bathe, and Rhaella mechanically nods consent. Her voice sounds distant and far away as if this were only a bad dream Rhaella hopes to wake up from soon. 

The gentle touches of the handmaidens help to rouse Rhaella from the trance she had retreated into. Her heartbeat echoes in her ears as her chest heaves from the residuals of a hyperventilation fit she doesn’t remember falling into. She feels dried tear tracks on her cheekbones. The pain hasn’t ceased but has let up slightly, allowing her to rebuild the strings of self-sufficiency. Still shaking, she grips the sides of the tub. Her voice warbles when she finally manages to speak. “What—What’s happening? What’s wrong with me?” she asks, voice cracking with unshed tears. 

“My name is Joanna, m’lady,” says the handmaiden, giving her a higher-ranking title than she deserves. “You’re just fine, okay? Nothing’s wrong with you.”

Rhaella nods helplessly. “Then what—what’s happening?” 

Joanna kneels beside the tub, holding Rhaella’s trembling hand. She strokes her knuckles soothingly. “Has no one taught you of womanhood?” Rhaella shakes he head no. Joanna looks at her with a tenderness a mother would give her daughter. It fills Rhaella with a sense of safety, almost. “Well, when a girl gets to a certain age, our bodies change from that of a girl to a woman. What marks that change is the first appearance of their moonblood.” As she explains, she continues to comfort Rhaella, rubbing her arm. “Another mark of this change is beginning to grow breasts.”

The more Joanna speaks, the more Rhaella wishes to cry. Unable to hold back her emotions, tears roll down her cheeks again, running along the dried tracks already there. Joanna hushes her, guiding the young girl to her bosom and cradling Rhaella as she cries. “Shhhh, shhhh, it’s okay, you’re alright, honey. You’re alright,” she soothes, rocking back and forth ever so slightly. She continues this until her tears stop. Snagging a towel from the shelf behind her, Joanna helps Rhaella out of the bath, wrapping the fluffy towel around her. “Let’s get you nice and dry, yes? That sounds good.”

Rhaella feels a discomfort so great that she knows no words to describe it. It felt as if she was being destroyed from the inside out. Joanna reassures her that nothing is wrong, but deep down, Rhaella knows something is wrong. Yet, despite everything, Rhaella has never felt as safe as she does now. It does nothing to dull the flames of her discomfort, but it helps Rhaella stay present.

Dressing went by in what feels like a blur. Rhaella wears a simple chemise with the comfiest socks the handmaiden could find. Joanna teaches how to line her undergarments with a cloth to prevent bleeding through her clothing, and Rhaella thinks she understands the concept. The other handmaiden left at some point prior, but Rhaella had yet to notice. There is a knock at the door, but apparently, it is merely a courtesy knock as the door swings open without waiting for an answer. 

On the other side stands Queen Alicent.

Unlike this morning, the Queen looks at Rhaella with the same sympathy Princess Helaena and the handmaiden Joanna look at her with. As Alicent enters, Joanna stands and curtseys; the Queen acknowledges her, then dismisses her with a wave. The handmaiden pulls the door shut behind her, ensuring it doesn’t slam.

Rhaella watches Joanna leave, then turns her gaze to Alicent. She watches her sit beside her on the end of the bed. She feels small in comparison. “I apologize for my appearance, Your Grace,” Rhaella mumbles, staring down at her lap and sniffling, unable to hold her gaze. 

Cautiously, Alicent brings a hand to the small of Rhaella’s back, rubbing up and down her spine in an attempt to comfort the poor girl. “Oh, honey, there’s no need to apologize. I’m not here as your Queen; you need not fret. Speak plainly, child.”

She allowed herself to relax, leaning into her side as she’d seen Alicent’s real children do. Rhaella sniffles, nose still running from the recent crying session. “Thank—Thank you,” she stutters out.

“How are you faring, honey? Helaena’s handmaiden told me what happened.”

Rhaella shrugs. “I don’t…I don’t know. Everything hurts and feels wrong. Like this shouldn’t be happening.”

Alicent continues to rub her back. “The first one is always the worst. How much did the other handmaiden explain to you?”

“That it’s called a moonblood, and how to keep from bleeding through my clothing.” She looks up at Alicent from her place nestled in her side. “And that I should expect…” Rhaella doesn’t finish her sentence, simply gesturing towards her chest area and hoping she’d understand.

She nods. “And you know what this means?” Rhaella shakes her head no. “It means you’re becoming a woman. Your first moonblood symbolizes the Gods preparing you to have children one day.”

A shiver rushes over her. Being only two and ten years old, Rhaella had yet to consider having children. Her mind races at the thought. Bastards like me don’t get husbands from significant houses. I don’t even know if I want a husband! It seemed impossible to her. It is something only trueborn ladies with noble husbands do. “What if I never have children? What if I don’t want them?” she asks in a panicky voice, looking up at Alicent.

Alicent sighs before responding. “It is not up to us to decide if we have children. We must put faith in the Mother Above to bless us with the gift of life. Whether she does or not is up to her and the path she has set us on.”

“I pray she never blesses me with children, then,” Rhaella grumbles and rolls her eyes. 

Rhaella’s irreverence doesn’t faze Alicent; she has grown used to hearing it from Aegon. “Perhaps you are yet too young to understand.” Her words sound patronizing, but something tells Rhaella she doesn’t intend them to. “A piece of advice: fill a stocking with barley and warm it over the fireplace; it will help ease the pain.” With a final squeeze, Alicent makes her way to the door, bidding Rhaella farewell and good luck.

With the Queen gone, Rhaella is alone for the first time since her moonblood began. Her whole body ached. She can’t get comfortable since every time she shifts to try and get a semblance of comfort, thick clots of blood rush from her. Part of her wants to cry again, but no tears come to let her. Gingerly sliding off the bed, Rhaella waddles to the washroom, too terrified of leaking to walk normally. Replacing the linen lining to the best of her abilities, she discarded the soiled cloth in the tub to wash later. When she finally returns to bed, her legs feel as if she’s run to Highgarden and back. Crawling into the middle and curling in on herself, Rhaella found a bit of lasting solace in the coolness of the sheets. It doesn’t take away from the pain, but it helps her feel as if what the handmaiden Joanna said had some truth to it. It is barely mid-afternoon, but Rhaella feels the claws of slumber grasp hold of her. Despite the sun that filters in through the curtain-clad window, she falls asleep quickly, hugging a cold pillow to her chest.

taglist: @procrastinatingsoicanreadfanfics, @criminalskies, @hyojae99, @poisonedsultana, @schniiipsel, @moonlighttfoxx, @losstboi, and @eleniblue.

[ppnuggie]

Hi can i please get a comforting group hug from the rescue bots pleas, my week was not the best and anxiety has been through the flipping roof, so all I would like please is where the rescue bots give the reader a group hug and comfort them please. ❤️🧡💚💙💖

　　　　　　RESCUE BOTS x gn human reader

　　　　『　heatwave ,, chase ,, boulder ,, blades ,, gender neutral human reader 』

　　-> group comfort from the bots :D

　　— fluff ,, sfw ,, comfort

　　— hope you’re feeling better now :(( im sorry this happened to you !! so sorry this is super late <//3

so far ,, your week had been extremely hectic. your parents were making you do a bunch of things ,, left and right - up and down - and it worked you to the bone. frustrated with how they had been treating you ,, a decision to take a break had been made.

going out for a nice stroll ,, to get some fresh air ,, you passed by the burns’s place. you were good friends with the chief’s daughter ,, dani ,, and she had also been busy this week. though ,, since you’ve known dani and her family for ages ,, they had trusted you with their secret of the rescue bots.

so you knew about heatwave ,, chase ,, boulder ,, and blades. you would often talk with them as well ,, listen to all their troubles and their desires ,, their interests and dislikes. it was wonderful talking with them ,, they had made you feel like you belonged somewhere in life ,, unlike how you felt at home.

“ hello cody ,” you waved at the kid ,, hearing him give a greeting back to you as well exchanging a wave. a soft smile spread across your lips ,, walking towards where the bots were at the moment.

“ hello !” blades greeted ,, excited to see you ,, as you havent been around in about a week. it was routine by now ,, visiting them once a week or so just to sit down and talk. “ hey blades ,” you replied ,, feeling his servo wrap around your body and pick you up.

“ greetings ,, (y/n) ,” chase gave a nod in your direction. boulder gave a small wave and heatwave didnt say anything. he doesnt say much ,, only when its needed or necessary. you didnt mind that though ,, only happy to be around in his presence.

“ how are you ? are you doing good ? i hope you are ! oh ! we got finished a rescue not too long ago ,, you shouldve seen me !!” blades was quick to start blabbing about how great he was during said rescue. it only made you giggle at his behavior ,, patting at his finger. “ i wish i couldve seen it ,” your smile soon fell ,, remembering why you werent there to see him in action.

“ hey ,, what’s wrong ?” blades asked ,, his conversation with himself starting to die down. “ ah nothing ,, just ,, some stuff ,,” you let out a sigh ,, letting out a small smile as you gazed up at the bot. though you had tried to convince him ,, blades only pouted and held you close to his chassis. it was something he would do commonly when he realized you were upset. it was like his own version of giving a hug.

you hummed softly ,, giving his chassis a pat before looking back up at the bot. “ its okay blades ,, i mean it. im quite fine ,, just needed a break from home is all.” you said ,, which had caught the attention of boulder. “ oh ! we can spend some time together ,, (y/n) ! i do need help with something !” he gave a soft chuckle.

and after boulder had spoke up ,, chase was next to add in. “ and when you are done with what boulder needs ,, i would like for you to accompany when i go on patrol. it would not only be beneficial but also educational for you.” he remarked.

“ what ?!” blades gasped ,, holding you closer and away from the other two. “ no way ! i was going to do something with them ! you cant just take them away !” he huffed and pouted. heatwave sighed ,, easily grabbing you out of blades’s grasp. the autobot held you gently in his own servos ,, keeping you away from the rest of his team.

“ there is no need to argue over them ,, theyre not a toy .” he reminded them ,, rolling his optics are their fussing. “ of course ,,” he casted his gaze at you ,,“ i am available if you wish to spend some time with me .” he muttered under his breathe.

you only laughed lightly at them all ,, shaking your head as you looked towards them. “ how about we just do something together ?”

[thefanficmonster]

Corpse x Witchy!Reader Headcanons

Corpse Husband x Reader (Gender Neutral)

Warnings: Swearing

Genre: FLUFF, Humor

Requested by @rottenroyalebooks  Hi hun! I’m so sorry you’ve had to wait for so long for this piece and I’m sorry it’s not a full fic like you may have wanted - there was just so much I wanted to mention that I didn’t know how to tie into one fic. If you’d still like a fic, feel free to let me know! Love, Vy ❤

- Y/N’s always been fascinated with the spirituality of this world

- All the eye cannot see but the soul can feel, that’s what’s always peaked their interest

- Corpse on the other hand has never been so invested

- Magic, spirituality and the supernatural are all things he’s been only barely connected to via his job as a horror story narrator

- That being said, this relationship has been a teaching experience for Y/N and a learning experience for Corpse

- They had a bit of a rocky, be it funny start, but Corpse has been put in a much better line of knowledge

- Sure, he did try to play poker with tarot cards at one point

- Or mistook one of the small potion bottles in Y/N’s room for whiskey a few times

- But it wasn’t anything they couldn’t repair (thankfully he didn’t drink the potion)

- What’s been his ultimate fascination from Y/N’s colorful collection of witch equipment are the crystals, candles and the crystal ball which Y/N has emphasized is very important and a VERY prized possession

- Corpse and Y/N had a whole class which consisted of them teaching him the meaning and ability of each crystal

- Same was for the candles - they had to explain why certain candles weren’t supposed to be lit willy-nilly

- Much to their surprise, Corpse was even taking notes

- They were sorta expecting him to be half-assing this whole thing and just sitting down to listen to them to humor them but the boy was so engrossed in his studying he had even memorized majority of what they told him

- TAROT CARD READINGS

- He had never had a reading before so he was as excited as a kid in a toy store when Y/N agreed to giving him one

- And then a few more but who’s counting 

- They both find the experience fun and exciting and that’s all that matters

- Yes, he took notes of the readings as well

- MATCHING CRYSTAL NECKLACES 

- They got him an Amethyst necklace to help soothe his anxiety and keep him calm, though the only power the crystal has over Corpse is the power of making him feel like Y/N is by his side no matter how far apart the two are

- He loves how he feels even more connected to them now

- Constantly feeling like they’re near is what’s actually soothing his anxiety and paranoia

- He, on the other hand, got them a Rose Quartz necklace, a representation of the love he has for them and the love they radiate around them

- Seeing his infatuation with this whole new world they’ve introduced him to, Y/N couldn’t help but feel their heart melt

- They’d never had anyone show interest in their passions and hobbies 

- Always used to having their interests dismissed, they’ve found great joy in their relationship with someone so loving and supportive

- They’d never thought they’d find someone who not only accepted what they liked/did, but also encouraged them to keep it up and get better, even indulging in it themself

- They believe that even if they rubbed a magic lamp and asked the Genie for the perfect boyfriend, he still wouldn’t be as perfect as Corpse

- Or the Genie would’ve straight up handed Corpse over to them

- Regardless, they couldn’t be happier and more grateful

- Their lucky stars were probably aligned the day they met

- However, it hasn’t only been one sided teaching/learning

- Having never expressed interest in video games, Y/N was clueless when Corpse brought up the subject to them one night

- When they admitted to having zero knowledge or gaming experience, he took matters into his own hands

- Now it’s safe to say Y/N’s a pro at Minecraft, Counter Strike, COD and, of course, Among Us. 

- He’s still not managed to break their habit of driving carefully in GTA V but maybe he will one day, who knows

- Horror games seem to have grasped their fancy the most: Phasmophobia (which they don’t even find scary), Outlast, Resident Evil, Silent Hill etc.

- Though they do indulge in games like Among Us for the fun of spending time with Corpse and his friends

- Needless to say, they’ve been teaching each other and learning from one another since day one

- That’s how you build and sustain a healthy relationship

@maat-the-prescriptive  @simonsbluee  @save-the-sky  @itsminniekat  @hacker-ghost  @bi-andready-tocry  @imtiredaffff  @jazzkaurtheglorious  @hereforbeebo  @fandomgirl17  @chrysanthykios  @maehemscorpyus  @loraleiix  @letsloveimagines  @annshit  @i-cant-choose-a-username-help  @enigmaticmaze  @divine-artemis  @waterlilypat  @idontknowwhatthisisfam  @evi-ka  @classyandfabulous00  @redperson58  @lilysdaydreams @solowheein  @mythicalamphitrite  @axen-gers  @luckygirl144  @nj01  @buddyemily   @the-albino-lioness  @stardream14  @gdhdkfnn  @nomadicgypsyy  @preciousskye  @fluffysuicideunicornsworld  @o-kaelin  @manacharlotte  @awkward-youtube-trash  @lolalee24  @bonky-beerns  @meme-lord-and-savior-sebastian  @strawbrinkofdeath  @teenloves  @tams0527  @browneyespinkhair  @starstruckllamapuppy  @daisychains012  @y0ulooked  @tinytacosuitcaseflap @supernatural-is-my-only-life  @jula-pauline  @melodykitty  @just-that-bi-girl  @crazybutconfidentaf  @lowellshade @alphakees  @bellero  @weallneednamjesus  @starryhanji  @boiled-onionrings  @husherstan  @fockingwhore  @melaningoddessthings  @prettypastelpetals  @haleypearce  @godwhyamiawkward  @y-napotat  @daisychainyoonmin  @little-miss-rebel3  @free-wheelin-bi-sexual  @redmoon261 @darkacademic2  @wiseflamingoqueen  @into-the-end  @namikhai-i  @nastiablr  @thelittleplantlover  @mirktuan  @dont-hyuck @jjk-bunny  @vintagegothlover  @easygoingtheatre  @itsrandombooklover  @miiaivi  @emmybaybee  @befourgolden  @jjk-is-my-shit  @eternalteaaars  @spacebadgerx  @princesslunalight  @acequinn14  @samm48  @misselsbells06 @simp-lykawa  @fo-love  @marishimomura-blog  @therealglenncoco  @cinnamonbun332  @killtherandomness  @sanshinexxxsan  @fee-btheweeb  @press-lay  @cathleenpotgieter16  @jazzydoesstuff  @moonlxghtbay  @forestrain2000  @hyunjinhugs  @blood-of-fandoms  @lovellylies  @ukiyolixx  @simpforhpcharacters  @chrisdylan17  @parkerjisung  @pedernille  @theodonyous  @wineandionysus  @malfoystilinskii05  @morbid-x  @coryisagee  @jessewa26  @scoobydooluver97 @mindintheskies365  @raeanneinwonderland  @indecisive-empanada  @gluttonypalace  @loriane2503  @btsiguess-kpop  @khaoticbunny  @lucidlycactus  @smiithys  @rottenroyalebooks  @kpopgirlbtssvt  @fangirl-tc27  @fr0z3n-1  @notmesimpingfortechno  @shotarosleftpinky  @kunoi-chan  @idk-whats-wrong-with-me  @yikeroonie  @goldenstarofthunderclan  @poetry-and-tea  @ama-do-writing-stuff  @wishbonewolf  @emeraldxhope  @t0xick1tty  @kusuinko  @speakyourselfloveyourself  @sophia902103  @lo-manburg  @classsykittykat  @dmgama  @depressedpuppythatneedscoffee  @btsiguess-kpop  @akaashi-baby  @gun-jong-simp  @geschichtenfee  @yerapotato-wp  @browneyedgirl365  @thysagclub  @sparklycloudnight  @helloatomicshadow  @queentorresstuff @vtte @val-gal  @lucy-bunny17  @aaliyahh0  @katluckybear  @boyleanti  @straybids  @franchesca-791  @cosmicstorm19  @averyisbackinthetrashcan  @aomi-nabi  @xlanawriter  @allensimpsforcorpse

[ganyuslily]

MAYBE ONE DAY MY HEART WILL FEEL LESS HEAVY TOO.

they say spring is the season of rebirth and starting anew — so why do the both of you keep clinging onto things that have passed years ago?

pairing: zhongli/gender neutral reader

category/extra notes: ig its just like yearning? kind of just getting to terms with some stuff, bittersweet neither fluff or extreme angst

note: alternatively, you envy the sunlight dancing on his skin, as it is much closer to him than youll ever be.

“im better at throwing things away now,” you say after giving him his cup of tea (his favorite, he notices briefly. something tugs at his heartstrings).

“you are?” he murmurs under his breath, golden eyes staring at your form.

you looked beautiful in the sunlight — as if covered in honey, the soft glow radiating off of you and making his heart ache. you looked like liquid gold, shining, standing right in front of him. you looked like a divine being and for the first time, he felt as if he should bow to you (a funny thought, he thinks to himself. an ex-archon bowing to a human — but you were no ordinary human. capturing the heart of a god wasnt something anyone could do, after all).

youre staring, you want to tell him, stop it, but you cant, not when youre doing the same. you feel guilty that you enjoy his company and want him to stay. you observe the way hes sitting, leg hooked on the other one, hand gracefully put upon his thigh. he wears his usual coat, the one that fits him snuggly at his shoulders and waist and you feel a weird sense of nostalgia washing over you (he looks so in place, so at home. it hurts. your home wasnt his anymore). you long to touch him, but you know you shouldnt.

you envy the sunlight dancing on his skin, as it is much closer to him than youll ever be.

“there is still one thing i cant quite get rid of,” you speak up again, lifting a ring. it catches the light, reflecting it. the mans breath hitches, his fingers grasping the cup harder.

“it seems i still love you, after all,” you muse, seemingly talking more to yourself than to him.

i too, still love you, he wanted to say. oh, but how could he, when he was the reason you both parted ways.

(i wish i could just let you go. it is spring and i want to start from the beginning, but the way you stare at me makes me think that you still feel something for me too.)

neither of you say anything. you stay in silence, basking in each others presence.

maybe one day your hearts will feel a little less heavy.

[amazingphilza]

disappear :: c!tommy x reader

angst , platonic , gender neutral ! ib: beabadoobee’s disappear / cw: cursing

request: Do u do angst? If so can we get a Reader that has somehow gotten into an accident or sm like that and just- they forget stuff in that included canon Tommy? Thank you, you are an angel for doing this ^^

yes ofc, i love me some angst :))

you and tommy were very close and knew each other like the back of your hand

the two of your shared your dreams, secrets, and fears to one another

saying that he was your best friend was an understatement

and to ever hear that you have gotten hurt would tear tommy apart

despite the potential dangers, you and ranboo had been out venturing for his fourth memory book

you were the only one ranboo had trusted to do this with

consequently while searching, you had tripped and began to fall down a deep hole

but to your rescue, ranboo had teleported, tightly grasping onto you before you could plummet to the ground and instead brought you to safety

well as safe as he was able to; falling from about 10 feet in the air onto grass was better than over 100 feet straight down a ravine

the foreign feeling of quickly traveling from one place to another made you nauseous

you had only stayed awake momentarily after the occurrence until ultimately passing out on the grass

ranboo got the slightly better end of the stick, as his anatomy came into benefit for his side effects weren’t as severe

he had a headache and felt fatigued from teleporting twice in one interval

but his body became numb as time passed and soon enough he lost consciousness as well

tubbo had found the both of you sprawled out on a field during the middle of the night whilst searching for ranboo

ranboo had promised he would come back home before sunset but never did

with help from foolish, the two boys had brought you back to snowchester to recover

you couldn’t remember anything from the trip with ranboo when you came back to your senses

when regaining back your consciousness, you were too tired to stay awake for more than 10 minutes at a time

ranboo on the other hand wasn’t as affected as he was primarily fine the next day, despite having migraines and a few minor wounds

however he barely remembered the situation himself and felt guilty for not being able to give a proper explanation to why you both had gotten hurt

tommy was the first to visit the you, rushing to snowchester when he heard the news

he waited restlessly in your room where you were recovering for you to awaken again

many hours had passed to come to the moment of seeing your eyes slowly open

“y/n! are you okay? what happened?” the blonde boy had bombarded you with questions

from his expression you could tell how concerned he was

but why?

“i’m sorry.. who are you?” you weakly asked

hearing those words come out of your mouth shattered tommy’s heart

“w-what? y/n it’s me, tommy. tommyinnit. remember? your best friend? also the wife haver?” he tried joking to mask his growing sadness

‘of all people, how couldn’t you remember him?’ he had thought

you must be joking

“no, i’m really sorry. i can’t recall anything, really”

“surely not....” tommy quietly breathed out, still trying to process everything that happened is real

tubbo had quietly stepped in to bring you a glass of water after hearing noise come out of your room

he turned to tommy, who looked like he was about to burst into tears, and placed a hand on his shoulder

“i think it’s best to leave them alone for now, y/n needs lots of rest”

in response, tommy dragged himself out of your room and in search for ranboo

it wasn’t long until tommy had found ranboo and immediately began yelling at him

“RANBOO YOU FUCKIN’ BASTARD. WHAT DID YOU DO WITH Y/N? THEY CANT REMEMBER ANYTHING. WHAT THE FUCK MAN?”

“i’m sorry tommy, i- i can’t remember either. it’s all a blur to me, but based on my wounds i woke up to.. i? we? we teleported? i don’t know..”

“you absolute prick, i cant believe you’ve done this. to y/n. you cant just go around putting people in danger, teleporting them when something bad is about to happen, then saying ‘ooh i cant remember’ bullshit.”

“i,, i’m really sorry tommy, i truly am. i know how much you matter to y/n and if i could remember, i would tell you whatever happened regardless”

tommy couldn’t maintain his composure for much longer with knowing he will never find out what really happened

“ranboo, i lost everything,” tommy began, ignoring the tears streaming down his face and looked at ranboo directly in the eyes. “tubbo was my best friend and you went off marrying him while i fucking died, and now y/n? y/n was my best friend and you took it all away from me. you selfish bastard. i... i don’t know anymore”

ranboo was lost for words and drowned in the amount of regret and guilt he had

tommy sighed with the lack of reply and walked away from ranboo

he angrily wiped his tears; mad that they were a reminder you wouldn’t be the same again

he was mad at the world for losing everything that once made him happy

deep inside, tommy had hoped you would remember him again

he hoped you would be the same y/n you always were

why’d you have to disappear?

[ficrecsbybu]

WinterIron fic rec 2021: Part I

Note: this fic rec consists only of Bucky Barnes/Tony Stark fics. the only Stucky & Stony you might see is as past relationships but that’s it. it’s also complete works ONLY. also - no underage stuff 🔪.  if you have any requests for Winteriron fic recs (for e.g non-superpower au, only one shots, series, hardcore smut, post-tws, college au, not team cap friendly fics, bodyguard au etc.) you can send me requests ^^. anyway... enjoy 😉 

✨ The Guiding of Death by RayShippouUchiha

“That whole Merchant of Death thing,” someone off to the side faux whispers, “makes a lot more sense now.”

It echoes across the bridge like a gunshot. 

Rated M, Hades & Persephone AU, Canon Divergence, always female Tony Stark, not Team Cap friendly. word count: 41391

(note: listen... I know het pairings and/or gender bend is not popular and I never really read those in general BUT this is straight up one of the best fics I have ever read so I NEEDED to share this with y’all...✌️)

✨ Forms of Love by bear_bell

Tony's the bad guy, after all. He's used to it. He's fine with it. He's good at it.

Only now, there's something far worse loitering around the tower - The Winter Soldier. No one notices the guy at first, but when they do, Tony figures that he should have the soldier's back.

Birds of a feather should flock together, and the bad guys should start a book club.

Rated E, Post-CW, Bucky Barnes & Winter Soldier are Different Personalities, Team Iron Man. word count: 33591

✨ Looking at You by NotEvenCloseToStraight

Bucky looks for so long that now all he wants to do is touch and hold and fix everything. But Tony can barely be in the same room as Bucky, cant even look him in the eye. So Bucky doesn't know what to do about Tony, but he is determined to do something. Because all he wants is to look at Tony, and see Tony looking back with a smile.

Rated E, Post-CW, PTSD, team heals, mental healing, forgiveness, angst with a happy ending. word count: 28,168

✨ I'll Be Your Bodyguard (If You'll Be My Security Blanket) by NarutoRox

When one of Loki's pranks gone wrong leaves the team with a young Winter Soldier in their care, they know they're going to have their hands full. Especially since this newer, tinier version of Bucky seems to have a bodyguard complex - and a particular attachment to Tony.

Rated T, kid fic, age regression/de-aging, de-aged Bucky, tiny bodyguard Bucky. word count: 4,993. 

(note: finally something CUTE. Im so sorry for being such a slut for angst and heavy stuff 😅)

✨ Fate Strings Not Required by Akira_of_the_Twilight

Tony took the hint.

Tony wrapped his hand around the new guy’s elbow. He kept his touch light and breakable in case he’d misread the cue.

“Just some guy claiming to be my soul mate, babe.”

The new guy’s eyebrows rose to his hairline in surprise. He chuckled and gave the first guy a smirk. “Strange. Last time I checked we were soul mates.”

Rated T, AU - no superpowers, AU - soulmates, Bodyguard Bucky Barnes, age difference. word count: 7,032.

✨ Shameless  by Finely Honed (jaqen_hgar)

Tony isn’t actually sure which of them starts it—he’d like to take credit, but if he’s learned anything it’s that Barnes is by no means a wilting flower. Besides, the start doesn’t matter as much as figuring out who’s going to actually finish it.

rated M, flirting, dirty talk, sexual tension. word count: 2,560

✨ Winter Wooer by salytierra

Winter may not be the most pleasant guy to live or share your body with, but he isn't nearly as destructive as everybody expected him to be either. He likes to brood in the corners, watch British TV, and freak people out. And Tony. He really, really likes Tony Stark. There's just one problem – Bucky's pretty sure he doesn't feel the same way about the guy.

Rated M, Bucky Barnes & Winter Soldier are Different Personalities, team as family. word count: 8,726

✨ Even Darkness Must Pass by Finely Honed (jaqen_hgar)

“Fake it till you make it,” Bucky whispered to himself, swallowing around his panic. Sam had drilled the idea into him, and it had become a mantra of sorts, something to hold onto when all he wanted to do was blend into the shadows and disappear.

“You’ll be fine.”

Steve placed a warm, strong hand on Bucky’s shoulder and squeezed, his super soldier ears having picked up Bucky uttering the now familiar saying.

Bucky nodded, tried to believe his own words, and followed Steve onto the common floor, a wall of sound hitting them as they entered.

rated M (but mild sexual content), parent Tony Stark, Bucky Barnes recovering, team as family, of love and hobbits 🧝🏻‍♂️. word count: 15,289

✨ Paths Are Made by Walking by Potrix 

The road to recovery is long, winding and a different one for every person walking it. Bucky chooses to help himself the only way he knows how; by doing what he does best.

Or, alternatively; the one in which Tony is a mess and accidentally kick-starts Bucky’s protective mother hen instincts.

rated T, post-TWS, fluff, humour, getting together, idiots in love. word count: 4,744.

✨ Rise In Perfect Light (Be Not Fearful Of The Night) by RayShippouUchiha

At first, the new element singing in his chest, Tony doesn’t understand what he’s done.

Doesn’t understand the full consequences of his actions.

But, to be fair, there’s no way he really could have.

Not even a futurist like him could have ever seen this coming.

rated G, post-CW, past Stony, angst with a happy ending. word count: 3,589.

(note: this fic is SO BEAUTIFUL. lemme just asjkdjnsjkdm)

✨ and amidst the ruins, there was you by TheKitteh

With everything resolved - post the Berlin conflict, Siberia and the rogue Avengers' return - Tony relishes in the clarity of what the team is now. He can finally see the well-defined lines, he can rely on solid rules and the chain of command. He's settled into his life like never before.

That is, until one day, an unhinged sorcerer with no grasp on his magic shatters that new-found balance.

As a result, half of Tony's soul is now gone, but he's willing to do anything to get it back.

rated T, post-CW, canon divergence, au - Dystopia, Dimension Travel, magical accidents, slow burn, getting together. word count: 36,976

✨ and so we unfold by TheKitteh

Senbazuru. Thousand Cranes.

An ancient Japanese legend that promises anyone who folds a thousand origami cranes will be granted a wish by the gods. Some stories believe you are granted happiness and eternal good luck, instead of just one wish, such as long life or recovery from illness or injury.

Bucky’s not big on believing in any legends, not after all that has happened. He just wants to create something for a change, not destroy.

He needs to prove himself that he can be trusted to handle something delicate. He doesn’t need a promise of a wish come true. He just,- needs to do this for himself.

He doesn’t need noticing how sad, tired Stark looks. Doesn’t need to want to do something for the man, when he can barely do anything for himself.

rated T, CACW canon divergence, getting together, reconciliation, POV alternating, Bucky Barnes recovering. word count: 14,449

✨ Spilt on the Ground like Water by tisfan

Tony has been black-bagged and illegally held at the Raft. Steve has no intentions of going to rescue him.

But the Winter Soldier isn't going to leave him behind.

rated E, Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes, implied/referenced torture, frottage, dub-con, mention of part non-con (HYDRA trash party), not Steve friendly, suicidal thoughts, touch-starved. word count: 10,853

✨ Norns, Save Us (From Ourselves) by phlintandsteel

It’s been ten years since half the universe was dusted.

rated E, post-IW au, A/B/O verse, Omega Tony, Alpha Bucky, Soulmates, Peter & Harley playing matchmaker, still recovering Bucky Barnes, not Steve Rogers Friendly, angst with a happy ending. word count: 37,324.

✨ Change You Like A Remix by ficlicious 

No one ever said Avenging would be easy, but Bucky could have really used a memo about the weeks where the hits just didn’t stop coming. He’d probably still have signed his soul away to the gods of spandex and paperwork, but a heads up woulda been nice before he nodded and smiled and took up residence in the house sanity fled when the Avengers moved in.

---- Soulmates, misunderstandings, snark, genderswap and sleep-deprived Avengers abound. Tony's a woman. Must be Friday.

rated E, AU - soulmates, established relationship, temporary gender swap, jealous Bucky Barnes, misunderstanding, miscommunication. word count: 10,494.

✨ Getting to Know You by orbingarrow

It had been an adventure, navigating the sweetly apologetic Bucky Barnes, who haunted the tower most days, and the the Winter Soldier, who occasionally inhabited Barnes’s body. The Winter Soldier was not apologetic; he was scary. And he was currently chilling out, uninvited, in Tony's lab.

“Leave,” Tony said, because Tony was either a dead man or not, and there wasn’t much he could do about it before coffee.

“Or you could give me permission to be here,” the Winter Soldier suggested.

“I don’t let strangers poke around my stuff,” Tony grumbled, as he walked past the Soldier to take a seat at his workbench.

“Easily solved,” the Soldier deflected. “Get to know me.”

-This is what happens when Tony does.

rated G, Bucky Barnes & Winter Soldier are different personalities, fluff, Clint Barton is a good bro. word count: 9,470

✨ Safe House by ali_aliska

For years, Tony had successfully kept his secret. Neither the world nor his team knew he was Iron Man and as far as he was concerned, everyone was better off that way. On his best days, Tony Stark was not someone people liked and trusted, so the last thing Tony wanted was to tarnish Iron Man’s good reputation by revealing the truth.

But then SHIELD falls, the Avengers face disarray, and a stray Hydra assassin forces Tony to go into hiding—and where better than the safe house he had just crafted for the Avengers and their own ex-assassin ready to come in from the cold?

Tony plans to hide away from everyone in his makeshift workshop until the coast is clear and he’s safe to go home. No one would care to spend any time with the reclusive, arrogant billionaire anyways, right? Iron Man is the one everyone wants around.

Bucky Barnes, on his own journey to reclaim his life and identity, seems to disagree with that sentiment.

rated T, post TWS, canon divergence, au - Secret Identity, mutual pining, team as family, slow burn, misunderstandings. word count: 89,533

✨ Versace on the floor by withered

The modern man’s armor is his clothing, and Bucky wants Tony out of his.

rated T,  post CW, Bucky Barnes & Winter Soldier are Separate Personalities, Barnes & Soldier & their hard-on for Tony, not team cap friendly. word count: 2,127 

[viastro]

areum | lee seokmin

ミ★ synopsis: in which you’re trying to draw out a scene in the park, but end up meeting a lost, gorgeous, dog. who just so happens to have a cute owner with a beautiful smile to match.

ミ★ genre: first meetings!au, artist!reader, pure fluff

ミ★ warnings: none! unless you’re allergic to dogs or something who knows

ミ★ word count: 1,907

ミ★ pairings: seokmin x gender neutral reader

ミ★ notes: hi guys! this was a really cute prompt i thought of as i was staring at my dog’s microchip HAFKWLANGLK i was going to use a gif from the left & right mv but then i saw this gif and started crying because he looks so soft i cant do thisheLP !!! but i hope you guys like this as much as i do <333 

You sit on the bench as you stare at the falling leaves from the maple trees. Pursing your lips, you glance back down at your drawing, letting out a sigh once you realize it looks nothing like what you originally wanted to create. You rip out the page, crumpling it in your hand and shoving it into your backpack. 

You’ve been assigned a project to draw a portrait from your favorite season in the year, and it’s due in a month. Since it’s Fall, you thought it was fitting to draw out the leaves falling from the trees in the city park. However, your instructor told your class that it had to feel personal, he had to be able to look at your creation and feel the emotion you wanted to come out of it.

So you planned to just draw like… a family having a picnic or something to spice things up. Unfortunately, there is no family out having a picnic due to it being 50° F. Not to mention the fact that you’ve been trying to draw the leaves falling from the trees for the past hour and it just hasn’t worked out. You let out a sigh, placing your journal beside you and just looking up to stare at the cloudy sky. 

That is, until you feel something… wet... nudge your ankle. You glance back down, finding a happy golden retriever staring at you with no leash. You let out a smile, raising an eyebrow as you reach out to the bright dog. 

“Hi baby! Where’s your owner?” You ask in a high-pitched voice, and the dog just tip taps on its feet excitedly as you move to check out its collar. You let out a sigh of relief when you find a dog tag, finding that the sweet golden’s name is Areum. You turn the tag over to find the owner’s number, and you quickly pull out your phone. 

“Areum, stay here baby.” You say, holding onto her(?) collar. You quickly glance down again to check their genitals, to find that Areum is, in fact, a female. You pet her head as you type in the number, before placing the phone close to your ear once it rings. After a moment the person on the other end answers.

“Hello?” Your eyes widen at the sweet voice, having not expected that. “Hi! I think I may have found your dog at the park. Do you perhaps own a golden named Areum?” 

You hear the person let out a happy cry, and you laugh as they start thanking you vigorously. You nod your head, “Of course! I’m currently at Yongsan Park, do you want me to meet you or should you come here-”

“I’m already on my way! I’ll be there in like fifteen minutes!!” The owner tells you, and you smile. You say your goodbyes before hanging up the phone, turning to Areum who is just happily tip tapping her feet once again. “Now why did you leave your owner? They sounded worried sick over the phone.” 

Areum just barks in response, reaching up and licking your face as you giggle at her. You pat her head fondly, finding her to be the prettiest dog you’ve ever seen. You lift up your phone to take a picture of her smiling happily at you, tongue out and all. 

“I wonder if your owner is as cute as you.” 

oh my god he is as cute as her. 

You stare in awe as the owner happily hugs Areum, giving her plenty of kisses. He quickly puts on her leash before continuing to coo at the golden retriever. His hair is brown with blue highlights in the front, which would typically look ridiculous on an average person. However, who we have here is not average in the slightest. 

He has a sharp nose and kind eyes, ones that become even sweeter once he smiles. He has a cute little mole on his cheek, and it makes you cry inside because it somehow makes him even prettier. He lets out a laugh once Areum licks his cheek, and you squeeze your fist at how beautiful it sounds. 

You tilt your head to the side when you feel your hand itch with the urge to draw out the scene in front of you. The leaves fall softly from the trees as Areum licks her owner, causing him to laugh loudly. All while the sun is breaking out through the clouds behind them, shining light onto the two. You remind yourself to not forget the visual so that you can paint it later.

“Don’t you ever run away like that! You made me so worried. You’re so lucky that this prett—this nice person found you!” You feel your cheeks aflame at the fact that he almost called you pretty, and you watch as the tips of his ears turn red. Seokmin curses for almost outing himself, but he can’t help it.

you really are quite beautiful.

“Thank you for calling me when Areum came up to you, she ran out of my house as soon as I opened the door and I couldn’t catch her. I almost peed my pants out of fear that I wouldn’t find her.” Seokmin tells you in complete and utter honesty, causing you to let out a laugh. You shake your head, waving a hand at him, “It was no biggie. She’s an absolute sweetheart and I knew her owner must’ve been worried sick.” 

Seokmin smiles, before sticking his hand out for you to shake, “Let me properly introduce myself. Hi, I’m Seokmin.” 

You grin, reaching out and grabbing a hold of his hand, “I’m yn, it’s nice to meet you and Areum.” 

The two of you stare into each other's eyes for a moment, the handshake being long forgotten as you both have gotten distracted by the sight before you. Seokmin tilts his head to the side, smiling softly at the sparkle in your eyes. While you take notice the softness to his eyes, hair falling over his forehead.

“How about I take you out to coffee?” He asks suddenly, and your eyes widen slightly. He releases his grasp of your hand, watching as your arm slowly falls back to your side. “To thank you, because I wouldn’t know what I would’ve done if Areum wasn’t found.” 

You let out a breath, having to remind yourself that he wasn’t asking you on a date. Seokmin grins at your reaction, finding you to be rather cute. You nod your head after a moment, brushing your hand through your hair. “I’d love to.”

Seokmin bites his lip to hold back another smile from forming, and glances down towards Areum, who is happily sitting beside him. The golden looks back and forth between the two of you, and she lets out a tiny bark. 

“I’ll just have to pack up my stuff here first, I was doing an art project.” You tell Seokmin, walking over to the bench to place your art supplies into your bag. A crumpled piece of paper falls from your bag, and he walks over to pick it up. 

“You dropped this.” Seokmin says, about to hand it to you when his eye catches a drawn out leaf. He unwraps it, and you’re about to open your mouth in protest, but the drawing is already unraveled. His eyes widen in surprise at how beautifully drawn the scene is, and he wonders why you would ever throw it away.

“This is amazing! Why is it all crumpled?” He asks you, and you reach up to rub the back of your neck out of shyness. You shrug at him, turning back to shove your art journal into your backpack. “It’s not how I wanted it to look. I’m supposed to make the drawing personal, and have a clear emotion be shown through it. I was going to add a family having a picnic, but I ended up scrapping the whole thing in general. It’s not what I wanted.” 

Seokmin nods his head in understanding, still glancing at the crumpled up artwork. He hands it back to you, and you give him a smile, shaking your head and nudging it back towards him. “You can keep it, it seems like you like it a lot.” 

“Thank you.” He mutters quietly, and you zip up your backpack, turning back towards him. Areum barks excitedly once you show that you’re ready for the impromptu coffee date, and Seokmin grins. 

“Let’s go get coffee and a puppuccino for Areum.” Seokmin states as the two of you walk side by side out of the park, and you chuckle.

“Not from Starbucks though, right?”

“Definitely not.” 

“Epic, they’re problematic.”

“I think this is the start of a wonderful relationship.”

“I think so too, Seokmin.”

“Hi Professor Kim, here’s my project. Thank you for letting me turn it in a bit late, I wanted to make sure it was perfect.” You say as you carefully place the wrapped painting onto his table. He looks up with a smile, removing his glasses and standing up to greet you. “Of course, I know that artists always like to add last minute details.” 

You grin, and you watch as he unwraps your painting. You bite your lip anxiously, watching his reaction as he takes it in. It’s been a month since you first met Seokmin, and the two of you actually became a couple.

he also became your muse.

Your teacher lets out a soft smile after a moment of staring at the piece you created, glancing up at you. You watch as the sunlight hits the orange of the falling leaves on the painting, coordinating with Areum’s golden fur. Seokmin’s face isn’t detailed, but you can see the bright white of his smile as he hugs the beautiful dog. 

“It’s beautiful yn, your use of watercolor really brought out the softness and beauty of this scene. Are these two close to you?” Your professor asks, and you grin. “Yeah, I love them.” 

“I can tell, it really shows through this creation of yours. This is a wonderful painting, yn. Your grade should be in by the end of the week.” You nod, giving him your thanks before stepping out of the classroom. You hug your arms as you turn the corner, seeing Seokmin standing by the brick wall on his phone, waiting for you.

“Seok!” He glances up at the call of his name, a smile immediately breaking out onto his face when he sees you walking over to him. “Yn! Did he like it?” He asks once you’re right beside him, wrapping an arm over your shoulders and pressing a kiss to your temple in greeting.

“I think so, and it’s all because of you.” You tell your boyfriend, and he chuckles, shaking his head. 

“Nah, it’s because you’re great at what you do.” You smile, before wrapping your arm around his waist. The two of you walk down the steps, with you explaining how your professor reacted while Seokmin nods. Once you both pass the maple trees, he glances down at you to see you grinning happily. He squeezes your shoulder, smiling softly. 

what a blessing to have you.

“What do you wanna eat, bub?” 

“Hm, pork belly!” 

“You just wanna look at my arms as I grill the meat, don’t you?” 

“And what of it?”

[dummy-dyke]

fuck you everybody except my wife

i just have to unfollow everybody who keeps putting “sex is a social construct” stuff on my dash and keeps referring to non-intersex people as afab amab etc. it is so exhausting and it really. builds up day by day by day like. in a damaging way

i don’t know how hard. it is. for people to grasp that there’s nothing. socially constructed. about our bodies. it is exhausting every day to log on here and see people so detached from themselves and the bodies they live in that they keep unironically posting this stuff. and. its frustrating! i wish the women in my life had the privilege of believing sex is something imagined! and i wish i had that privilege! god if my disorder of sexual development was something just arbitrarily made up. do you know what a relief it would be to know that the higher risk of cancer i have because of it is something made up too???? 

and i cant get over just. the insult it is to see completely non-intersex male and female people every day saying it was something they were assigned just. ignoring the intersex people who came up with that term because they were GENUINELY assigned sexes as kids. and then had surgeries performed on them without their consent to fit these assignments. its just very overwhelming and. i ... can’t follow people who post that shit anymore!! 

how hard is it to grasp that the notion that the two sexes should dress and feel and perform certain behaviours according to what sex they are (gender) is the construct and sex is like a real like biologically grounded thing that exists. how hard is it to grasp that intersex people aren’t just a group you can throw around to justify your arguments when you feel like it. how hard is it to grasp that its a flawed argument because intersex people ARE, for the most part, genuinely male or female REGARDLESS (so NO sex is not a spectrum or a construct) but are often assigned a sex arbitrarily just due to external appearance and desire to have a sex to know which gender to socialize the child into

anyway i talk about these issues not a LOT but often enough that all my mutuals who like these posts every now and again and see this stuff and still post this shit like its just like a slap in the face when i have to read this shit and so if we’re not mutuals anymore. you know why. 

[staatsanwaltnightingale]

Are they, are they not?

„GoodOmens“ content was flooding my dash for a while now.

At first I ignored it, but I grew more curious with every post about the show, cute fanart does that to you.

So i made an amazon prime account (thankfully there is a free month option) to check out for myself what that hype was all about:

Aka the two cents noone asked for.

I like bible story adaptations. Though I myself am not a believer, I love the concept of angels, demons, gods, mythical creatures, all that good stuff. Makes sweet fuel for the creativity engine.

I did enjoy the story, the story telling. I liked quite a lot of the characters. The humor. Cringed at some scenes and lines.

All in all the series was a solid 4,5 out of 5.

The big questionis: Are the angel Aziraphale and the demon Crowley a thing?

((Now I only watched the TV Series, never read the book. But as far as I am aware, what I could gather from tumblr posts anyway, there are quite a lot of differences, so they should be treated seperately.

What I could gather, in the book they held hands facing the Apocalypse, and at the end moved into a cottage together.

What I do know, is that in the series one of the angels that cornered Aziraphale to question him, called Crowley something along the lines of „your boyfriend with the sunglasses“.

If they arnt canon, why put a line like this in there. I mean yeah I guess its meant as harmless joke but did they really have to include that?))

- I have seen many opinions on this:

Some claim it is absolutely canon, refering to the creators confirming it in an interview.

- Others say they are just (best) friends.

- My friend told me she read an article where the creators (or one of them anyway) said that they cant be in a love relationship because celestial beings apparently dont have a concept of that kind of love. To which I call bullshit, because not only do they experience love for things like food or a bentley to the point they are „having a moment here“ when it burns down, to crying over the loss of a best friend.

Its not a huge leap from best friends to Significant others, rather its a pretty small step.

And before anyone says something along the lines „Just because they dont have sex on screen...“ yada yada. Of course they dont have to fuck to be a valid couple. I myself wish nothing more than  relationship stories that dont revolve around sex in this over sexualised world. Id love to see more Asexual rep.

I love their relationship: being fond of each others company, wanting to run off together, worrying for eachother, caring for eachother,  having fun together...but how hard would it be to say „I love you“ or hold hands while smiling lovingly at eachother. Because as cute as their interactions are, you COULD interpret it as just really close friends.

Hell, there are still a lot of people denying Korrasami (the lesbian couple from the show „the legend of Korra“), calling them gal pals and seeing their handholding and them longingly gazing at eachother as being really close friends. (disclaimer, Im not saying their relationship has been established in a perfect way with all the love triangle going on etc.)

- I read an article, where N.G said that it IS a love story, which kind of love, though, is up to the viewers interpretation. Which, to me, is one of the rudest things to say, especially as an supposed ally. What does he think have we been doing all these years? Starving for representation, the lgbt-etc community kept grasping at any ever so small hint, clinging to any for two same gendered individuals atypical interaction they could find, just to be shown the middle finger in the end.

Is it queerbaiting?

((If Im not mistaken the book and the series was written by two authors, and I dont know, to me, if its not both parties agreeing on them being gay, and only one pushing this narrative, then I wouldnt count it.

Also im not sure why he is practically begging for fanfictions. If your show is good and you have nice character you dont even have to say a thing and there are thousand fanfictions appearing every second. Mostly fetish/kink based porn fanfictions, but yeah.))

((Disclaimer: Before I get jumped, yes I know angels and demons have no gender, I am aware of that.

But they present themselves mostly as men. Sometimes as women.

So lets just say it would be a win for nonebinaries and homosexuals alike.))

Many shows like using queerbaiting to boost their views. Using interactions between two same gendered people, including romantice cues, to wake the illusion of a possible homosexual relationship, but keep it vague enough not to throw off the straight viewership.

And boy do the fish bite, just to be tossed into the grinder when the show is done and it turns out, hey those two characters were straight all along. Silly fish.

I mean, are straight people not tired of the „will they wont they trope“?

Also it bothers me how we have two celestial beings knowing eachother for thousands of years  with the potential of an enemies, to friends, to best friends, to significant others love story and get nothing (?).

But then we have two characters that literally just met, and they fuck in a storm because of a prophecy.

That scene threw me off. Did I miss something? Did they stop the storm by fucking? Also haha hes a virgin. And after that they are together.

That being said, in no way do I want to force the creators to change their characters into something they didnt envision them to be. But if you didnt plan it then stick to your actual plan and dont give people, who are starved for this kind of content, false hope so you can collect browny points and/or gain more viewers. And Im pretty sure making their interactions as gay as they are is a huge part why this show exploded so hard.

Also we should stop praising „browny point fishing creators“. (of any media)

In this case its absolutely valid to praise the creators of Good Omens for a good show, I liked the series too.  

But dont put them on the throne as saviors of the lgbt community.

((As I already mentioned, I liked the show, it was a cute little story with nice characters.

But I dont really want to invest my time and energy into supporting a noncanon pairing like I used to.

Its tiring and draining and ends in sadness. Id rather move on.))

This is a written mess and all over the place, so please do correct me on anything that I got wrong.

All I want to know is the truth.

[churchsplayground]

“Humans are terrible creatures only capable of Hate, I like their earth rodents however, they seem like the only sane creatures here.”

The Vassal/King Symbiote - Vassal 

- Vassal is almost as old as them symbiotes themselves, he’s no youngster and has had many, many hosts of the countless years. Vassal himself doesn’t even know how old he is anymore. He lost track a while ago. - He has no concept of gender, It confuses him. Everyone calls him ‘He’ so he just goes with it. - He’s 6′0″ exactly no matter how small his host happens to be. - HE CANT SPEAK ENGLISH or Any earth language, he only knows a few words but is unable to really speak the language. He has a hard time understanding it and takes a while to process what someone says. - Vassal is the property of the Life Foundation and currently is there.

- Vassal has a strong hate for humans so much so he refuses to even bond to them, he sees them as terrible creatures and only thinks they’re capable of hurting symbiotes. He wants to avoid them all al costs. - Vassal has an obsessive love for any type of rodent mainly rabbits/bunnies, this is the only important fact you HAVE to remember, honestly. - Vassal is from Klyntar, however, he was not captured on Klyntar. He was bonded to his host who is currently unnamed, a weird rodent creature similar to a jumping mouse but oversized. He has no idea where is host it now. - He has been with the Life foundation for 40+ years, Vassal has forcefully spawned four children within that time frame. Their names are Rook, Pawn, Bishop and Knight (Church). Knight is the youngest by 30 years.  - Vassal is used for the more painful tests the foundation has to offer, his children, however, are just used as a sort of ‘task force’ and have hosts. Vassal doesn’t have a host and is kept in a special container. -  He doesn’t have any hate towards his spawn and actually is quite fond of them. Vassal is not an aggressive symbiote and cares for others (mostly symbiotes) around him. He just hates humans only. - Vassal hates the Life Foundation and wishes to be free, wishes so for his children who are also said property of the Life Foundation. They have no freedom at all. 

Below are facts more about him physically:

- Vassal has various abilities (with a host) one he uses the most is his ability to form spear-like growths from his mass, he can use these to cut things or simply fully form them and throw them at... idk stuff. His daughter inherited this ability. - Vassal has star-like speckles on the darker colored parts of his body, they are able to admit a slight glow, it's very faint but it’s there.   - Vassal knows how to fight very well, he might be smaller than most symbiotes but he makes up for it with skill. He can and will take someone down if he so wishes. He however rarely fights anyone because he’s more passive. - Vassal can speak many alien languages, some dead languages, some not. - Vassal is not a corrupt symbiote please do not confuse him for others.  - Vassal has animal-like legs when he was with his alien host due to the fact they had similar, he thinks humans legs are weird.  - ChEck OuT ThiS BoIS fOur eyEs.

He has no host.

Daily Life/Minor Origins

Yeah, no, he just sits in a container all day every day waiting for the next time he’s going to get poked and prodded.

Origins? Vassal was captured and give to the life foundation where he was taken from his host and basically thrown in a container. They end up finding a way to keep Vassal alive and stable in this said container, Vassal had things tested with/on him over and over, The foundation finally decided to force him to spawn when they found out he was able to, that was about 10 years into his life at the foundation, Vassal ended up spawning only 3 symbiotes. The foundation, however, wanted 4 new symbiotes, by this point it was planned out the children would become this team they where forming. The three symbiotes that were spawned got named Rook, Pawn, and Bishop (named after chess pieces, yes, they’re supposed to be used by the foundation like they’re just chess pieces). The three that did get spawned where given hosts and ended up being trained to fit their intended purposes. Skip forward 30 years later, Vassal finally spawned the 4th symbiote Knight, things went south a few weeks in as Knight was stolen from the foundation. Vassal doesn’t really have any purpose anymore for the foundation because he refuses to bond to any human they offer, he so far just sits in a container occasionally being fed and or taken out for another test.

Vassal is absolutely miserable by all standards and he just wished to be free from the foundations grasp.

Other stuff

Please remember the important fact is that this is Church/Knight’s parent. This is just a bunch of info on them!

~ Thanks for reading If you have questions feel free to ask them. 

If you want to see more refs everyone is tagged with #1 on this blog.

[jinlian]

i dont know if you're the right person to come to but i kind of have some thoughts on fandom women writing m/m sex. im def. not saying women can't write it (esp. considering theres a whole industry filled with men fetishizing lesbians, but thats for another time) but if all they talk and focus on is the sexual aspect and dont care abt anything else, it feels almost fetishy and dehumanizing? there's intersectionality btwn how women creators and gay people are treated but i cant quite grasp it.

i also forgot to mention in the last ask but i feel like the line btwn fetishizing and exploring can be awfully blurry and it’s kind of hard for me to consume media as a result. it’s weird, but i feel the need to look at the person and see what context it’s written in, what their background is, etc. i want to be critical of what im consuming and the person who created it and how im consuming but it’s just kinda weird and causes cognitive dissonance a little. sorry for the ramble.

hey, so, there’s definitely a lot that can be said on this topic! there’s a lot to unpack in your ask both regarding the fetishization thing and how you’re interacting with media. i think what you’re doing is important and you’ve definitely got the right idea but i can also really see where the dissonance comes in a little bit. it’s tough, because you sort of have to walk the line between “everything we consume is problematic, sometimes i just need to enjoy things” and “media doesn’t exist in a vacuum and we need to criticize things when they deserve it.” which – yeah, is a tough line to walk! 

i think at a certain point it unfortunately comes down to individual judgement. i can think jk rowling is pretty shitty while still loving harry potter and what i was able to take from it as a child, while still acknowledging she could have pushed the envelope further. i’m having a much more difficult time knowing what to do with my feelings about rurouni kenshin. et cetera. basically, i try to enjoy things while still being willing to talk about the bad shit, but if i’m feeling like the harmful things way outnumber the good then i’m out of there.

so unfortunately all i can tell you about how you’re consuming media is just to  to use your best judgement. we all need to let ourselves enjoy things. but enjoyment and criticism can and need to go hand in hand. so – just keep being conscious of it. engage and have fun, step back when you feel you need to do that. 

when it comes down it, cishet women writing m/m sex is always going to send off a lot more danger bells to me than wlw doing it. which isn’t to say that all straight women shipping and writing m/m ships are bad, because that’s definitely not true! the answer isn’t to desexualize the ship completely any more than it is to point fingers at any straight girl daring to ship two men together, both options are bad. i’ve definitely seen straight women fans interacting with victuuri for example in a way i felt was very genuine and heartfelt and not creepy at all, and that’s awesome. the weirdness comes in context.

because you’re right – there’s a lot of bad crap out there that does come off as dehumanizing. the fics that completely toss aside any semblance of characterization for the “hot smut” or have clearly done no research into how (cis) gay men have sex and really are just there to focus on the banging. there’s way too much of that – and they’re often the most popular things in fandom (mafia aus, nympho yuuri, that rival au, etc). it’s gross, it’s uncomfortable. so i agree w you.

it gets complicated when you introduce 13-14 year olds to fan spaces occupied by 30-40 y/o women who are producing some of this content. it’s difficult to blame teens when adults should know better. yes, adults belong in fandom spaces. i’m an adult, i like having fun with nerdy things too! but adults also have a responsibility not to be fucking weird about it. younger people will try to emulate the older ppl and get wrapped up in fandom culture, which perpetuates itself, and it’s just a big cycle. sex in fanworks is fine, it really is. but adults in particular need to start doing some critical thinking about who’s sharing fandom space as well as whom their content might be harming.

so there’s an exploration aspect of young teens testing out sexual content, which isn’t inherently bad, but adults producing some of this gross fetishy “what is characterization i just want hot inaccurate unsafe sex smut” should know better. it’s harmful and hurtful. our sexuality does not exist for your entertainment and consumption.

to an extent this can be said of wlw as well, i’ve seen my fair share of it (especially wrt ~omegaverse stuff). this is not to say that trans men and mlm can’t and don’t enjoy this stuff, but they cannot fetishize themselves, that’s totally up to them to create and consume content about their own lives. but there’s an inter-community discussion, as i know there are differing opinions there. which just comes down to this imo: if you’re a cis/cishet woman, just…. think more critically about what you’re doing.

it gets more complicated with wlw i think because we don’t have a lot of stuff that reflects our own stories. i’ve talked a little bit before about how there’s a reason we latch onto male homosocial relationships in media, platonic or otherwise. at least for me, it’s because there’s just a dearth of women in media who even have characters, let alone unique or individual stories, let alone really fleshed out relationships with other women. male relationships are often given so much more depth, exploration, and respect in storylines that i think it’s easy to find ourselves gravitating towards that – especially when we’re looking for relationships of the same gender.

it doesn’t mean that women in media don’t exist or that it excuses any gross things produced by those wlw, because it definitely doesn’t. but i understand why we find those stories compelling. in my experience wlw tend to be more careful and aware of how they’re producing fan content for mlm (though of course not all of us!) simply because the stories feel more personal and they understand how it feels to have their sexuality and identity fetishized for consumption, and are actively trying to avoid it.

none of this ofc applies to every person belonging to each identity, so there are bound to be outliers and aberrations here. that’s fine! i guess this is kind of more of my rambling about general trends and observations.

basically – i think i share your concerns while recognizing that it’s a complicated topic. i like seeing people loving a ship for what it is and wanting to engage with it. gay ppl in particular are looking for stories about ourselves. and all ppl should be fine writing sex and exploring those aspects of relationships in fan content! it just comes down to being aware and responsible and knowing that media and fandom do not exist in a vacuum.

[tachibubu]

Drip Drop [REQUESTED]

Pairing: Jerome Valeska x Reader

Prompt: [ANON] gothammm can u do a oneshot where reader is jims v close niece or sth who has social anxiety and phobia of blood and then jim drags her into gcpd office where she forces her to be a cop (like in training?) and then unfortunately for her, jerome and the gang comes for a shooting and then she just hides smwr like undr the table and jerome sees and finds it cute but shes pale af cuz of all the blood and she cant say or do anything cuz of fear and social anxiety?

YAYYYY! My first request from being in tumblr for 4(?) days!!! I got this request from a person [Which that person wants to stay anonymous] and it was interesting to write! It took me awhile since I have to study on how to get in a Police Department for this one and some test required. I tweaked some minor stuff, hope you don’t mind! Also, before you say that Jim couldn’t have any niece because he doesn’t have a sibling (In my information, still haven’t watched Gotham fully.) this is an AU where either your mother or father is Gordon’s sibling. Also this is a female reader insert, I couldn’t do both genders in one go since I’m really strict to grammar even though my grammar isn’ really that great. Anyways hope you guys like it, and you too anon who requested this!

You went in to you and your Uncle Jim’s shared apartment, you could hear him cooking something as the aroma of the food hits through the air. You dropped yourself on the couch and wailed like a kicked puppy.

“Oh, (Y/N). Finally find a job?” you could hear some utensils where set.

“No luck Uncle Jim…”

You were Jim Gordon’s niece. Since your parents died from a homicide when you were still a wee child. Jim was the only relative accepted you and took you in. After him helping you throughout the incident, you both became a close duo. Now that you were in a legal age and haven’t entered to any college since you and your uncle couldn’t afford for it you decided to help the household by applying on an occupation. So far, all the interviews were a disappointment.

“Could you set the table?” Jim requested as you groaned but rose and carried on what the elder told you to do.

The both of you consumed the dish in peace for a while then Jim decided to break the silence.

“I could get you in at the GCPD as a police though since we are in need after the Maniax incident,” he lifted an eyebrow at you while chewing the food inside his mouth. You thought about it, it could raise your cash earning, yes. Plus, you do have an athletic history and could fire a gun, which Jim educated you for self-defense. But the major obstacle is that you were scared of blood, in other words you have hemophobia. That’s the con, but you were mentally humiliated being puppied by your uncle. You want to assist the household too, but this decision could cause you to be terrified to death. No, I could do this. You thought to yourself, this would make me stronger.

“I’m up for it,” you said returning eye contact.

Jim knew about this phobia of yours, he doubt that you would accept it but he was surprised that you acknowledged it. “Are you sure? There would be a bloody incident now and then, I know you want to help but you don’t know what will happen in every second or minute.”

“I’m sure of it.” He sighed then bowed his head a little to respect your choice.

“Well then I’ll prepare everything else, also you need to prepare about the LEE examination for it and at least have 70% above to pass. So, good luck kiddo.” He smiled at her then they proceeded to eat in silence. On that night you searched a lot of information for the test to raise your chances on passing.

The next day you and Jim were driving to the station, “My niece would like to apply.” He then advanced and gave your citizenship card and driver license, your high school diploma also to be checked by the woman on the counter. You were pretty apprehensive at this, having negative speculation every now and then. What if I did pass then saw blood throughout the job? I don’t even know if I would be able to pass this, I hope they like me… That’s some of the few anticipation that you have been deliberating to yourself.

It was going fine until several gunshots were heard; the worst thing is that it was “NEARBY”. The windows shattered and you squeaked in surprise and horror, some police were shot, which made your eyes expand.

Blood, all over.

You started to hyperventilate; your body was shaking fiercely. Your uncle led you to the other side of the counter and made you hide under the table at one corner. It was a good hiding place but you doubt it will last. He ordered to stay there and gave you a pocketknife to defend yourself. “I’ll be back, think of your happy place (Y/N)…” he was on pins and needles that you will lose consciousness and with your pale figure; it was obvious you weren’t fine. He grasped both of your hands and you focused on him, still shaking and sobbing. “Do what I told you (Y/N)---“

“Close your eyes, and think about positive things.”

He said hugging you; your six-year-old figure struck by a jolt at the sight of the cadaver of your parents in the kitchen. The floor was tainted in red and their eyes are dull. Police and medics can be heard rushing outside. Uncle Jim always told to you to do that when you sighted blood, and it always seemed to work. You trusted him that much.

“I’ll get you out of this, I promise.”

You urged your head to nod which worked and he smiled and ruffled your hair before sneakily went out of sight to see what’s happening. The girl that your uncle talked to you a few minutes ago was there laying nearby, now a carcass. There’s another police you can see near at your hiding place lifeless too. You felt light headed at this point. It was horrifyingly catastrophic.

And when you heard a happy whistling tune and footsteps, you hugged yourself firmly. Clutching the knife that your uncle gave you, you closed your eyes and did what your uncle told you. Think of happy thoughts, and trust him even though your heart was pounding by the trigger of your phobia and also fearing for you life.

The MANIAX was back after estimated two weeks and were up for some show, the group of mentally ill people decided to welcome one of the most entertaining yet foolish department of all time. Gotham City Police Department. Requested by the leader of the group, the one and only Jerome Valeska.

Jerome was whistling and slightly skipping while glancing anywhere if there are any alive preys still in sight for him to satisfy his hunger. While he walked he heard a whimper, he walked towards where he heard it and saw a girl hiding under a table. She was obviously scared; Jerome couldn’t help but think it was adorable. He started to near her, gun in hand in case the girl didn’t afford the entertainment he needed. When he was in front of her, kneels down. He noticed a knife in her fist.

“Boo!” he giggled. The girl suddenly by instinct stabbed him on his upper arm which was took him in shock. He noticed the girl got more scared, he didn’t knew if it was him or something else.

“S-sorry!” she gasped. “I, I… Scare! . Bl-Bl-Blood!”

“Not, not…. Kill, I pl-pl-please!”

He looks at her, as if she was a precious baby to be saved, not bothering the pain he felt on his shoulder. The blood flowed and the girl whimpered at the sight of it and at the sight of the well-known psychopath. This made him smile at how adorable she was, he thought. He liked her instantly. Maybe he should keep her alive and play with her for a little while. It would be interesting enough for him; besides if she gets boring he could kill her instantly. But something about her that made Jerome uneasy, a feeling or an emotion he couldn’t put into which he just shrugged off.

“Don’t worry doll,” he said and puts a hand behind her head and pushed her onto his chest and cradled her. “Now close your eyes, drop the knife and put your hands around me.” You still cried but managed to do what he said and embraced him even though she could feel the phobia rush in as she felt the sticky blood touching her arm. But she didn’t bother it, she was a facing a killer and she was exhausted. That’s a downside. She felt her world being dim and darker in every blink. Her breath seemingly slowed down. Before she could pass out, she could hear the psychopath’s comforting voice once again.

“Now, now doll. I’ll protect you for now on.”

[lexibc]

hey guys! so i posted this lovely little tweet/rant and would love if you guys would check it out, but for now i'm just going to paste what it says here so people can read it: ‪say it with me folks: at least when obama was president the nazis and the kkk didn't parade around, and immigrant children felt safe. you might not have liked obama as president but he never fucked up our country this bad. i may not be the most educated person in the world but honestly any person with two eyes can see our country is no longer peaceful nor does it hold the same values as it used to. soldiers didn't fight for this. TRANSGENDER SOLDIERS DIDNT FIGHT FOR THIS. our founding fathers sure didn't fight for this. this is not the country that was formed to get a fresh start, this is a country of hatred and violence that needs to end. i see videos daily about how we're all the same under our skin and how we are all equal and it is so painfully obvious i wonder why it needs to be said and then stuff like what's happening to #DACA happens and i realize some people cannot grasp the idea that we are indeed equal. no man is lesser than another. you say god hates gays and people of other religions or ethnicities yet it is the most hypocritical ideal in the world. you preach that god loves everyone yet you say he hates others. you say jesus has died so everyone's sin can be forgiven yet something like two people of the same gender holding hands will send them to hell with no forgiveness. killing each other over color and ethnicity or degrading them over where they were born or how they identify themselves is not what god is about. it is not okay to use god as a cover for your hatred. america has slowly began to crumble around us, and i am not the only person to notice it. at times like these we should not be fighting each other, we should not have a reason to fight each other. we are a country formed from people who wanted to get away from a man that thought all people should do as he says and be like he says. what we are becoming is not what ANYONE fought for. i joke with my mom and say i'm going to move to mars because it seems like the only safe place i could move to yet when you think about it, that is not something anyone should have to feel worried about. our world is becoming a war zone yet no one wants to admit it, out country that is supposed to be a safe haven for people from all over the world doesn't feel safe at all. this was really long so i'll just summarize everything for people who don't want to read it all: OUR COUNTRY IS FALLING APART AND NO ONE IS STOPPING IT. WE HAVE PEOPLE DYING FROM NATURAL DISASTERS YET RATHER THEN HELPING THEM WE HAVE ENDANGERED 800,000 PEOPLE BY ATTEMPTING TO SHUT DOWN A PROGRAM MADE TO PROTECT THEM. PRESIDENT TRUMP WE HAVE BIGGER THINGS TO WORRY ABOUT THAN BABIES BROUGHT TO THE US YEARS AGO THAT INCASE YOU WERE WONDERING PAY THE GOVERNMENT JUST LIKE ANY OTHER CITIZENS DO AND CANT ACTUALLY USE WELFARE. THIS IS NOT THE TIME TO BE WORRYING ABOUT THAT MR. PRESIDENT. PLEASE TAKE A SECOND TO REALIZE THAT WE HAVE NAZIS LIVING IN OUR COUNTRY THAT YOU HAVE NOT DEALT WITH, THESE ARE THE PEOPLE OUR COUNTRY FOUGHT AGAINST YEARS AGO YET YOU ARE DOING NOTHING TO STOP THEM. PLEASE NOTE THAT WE HAVE PEOPLE DYING IN HURRICANES AND WOMEN AFRAID TO GO TO CAMPUS BY THEMSELVES BECAUSE THEY ARE NOT GOING TO BE AS PROTECTED AS THEY ONCE WERE, PLEASE NOTE THAT I, A 17 YEAR OLD GIRL AM TERRIFIED EVERY DAY THAT I MAY GET RAPED ONE DAY, OR BOMBED, OR JUST WAKE UP ONE MORNING TO A WAR ZONE. OUR WORLD IS SUCH A VIOLENT ONE YET YOU SAY OUR COUNTRY IS ONE OF PEACE. THIS IS NOT PEACE MR PRESIDENT, THIS IS CHAOS. ‬

[misfitjohnnys]

faq/about

let me get this out of the way: yes my stomach tattoo says Jopping because i’m an idiot

name

tomi but call me tommo!!!

birthday/zodiac

january 12,1997 so im a capricorn and my chart is hella wild oops

height

like 5′8 but im stretching the truth a lil

gender?

i dont fuckin know! lmao! i dont feel anything tbh.  agender makes sense (they/them preferred but i could not give less of a fuck)

Sexuality™️ by TAEMIN produced by SMEnt 2016

lesbian!!!!! i like girls and strictly celebrity men 

groups you stan?

i heavy stan exo, nct (ot23), shinee, red velvet, and superm is the best thing that ever happened to me!

sometimes ill vibe with block b, stray kids, and a few others

im rly bad about being updated but i grasp onto information i find like im hanging off a cliff u will learn that quickly

do you swear?

a lot..... im so sorry

where do you live/where are you from?

i live in louisiana in the states! I dont plan on staying here at all so I’ll let the world take me where i need to be!

have you traveled?

yes! ive been to quite a few states, mostly southern states but ive been to california, new york and england so thats p cool

what are you here for?

updates abt kpop and to rant to people who dont give a shit bc ive got adhd and i have to talk someones head off and i think tumblr is a good place for that

what do you blog about?

mostly nct, taemin, and exo but every once in a while i switch it up and throw some other stuff in here and i talk a LOT

favorite thing you don’t blog about?

waterparks, the maine, all time low, generic pop punk honestly it consumes my life im just an emo kid really,,,,, any bands similar to those i prolly listen to just ask

favorite shows?

TEEN WOLF I FUCKIN LOVE TEEN WOLF and parks and rec! i watch a lot of netflix originals mostly! 

favorite movies?

i like rom/coms, marvel films, horror movies, i love movies i aint even gonna front

iron man 2 is a blessing to this world

music you listen to?

punk, pop punk, kpop, rnb, modern music mostly

odd things you want people to know but dont want to have “the conversation” about?

i have adhd rly bad so my focus is either all on one thing for long periods of time or i cant focus at all. mentally ill but im winging it daily

favorite food/drink?

i frickin love popcorn dude but i honestly.... love louisiana food. and spaghetti........ i dont eat beef so like anything chicken or turkey is great w me! 

i love coffee and coke zero and i use those weird liquid things in my water bc tap water is awful here

what do you do for a living?

management, hairdressing, and art!

met up with anyone from tumblr?

yes!!! ive met up w like 8 people i met on here!!!! some i went to england to meet so that was rly cool

how long have you been on tumblr?

since like..... 2010 i think ............ fuck

is this your only blog?

nope! i run an unbleached jungwoo tumblr!

what do you look like?

im overweight, kinda tall, a lot of tattoos. white, blue eyes

body mods/tattoos/piercings?

i have 30+ tattoos and i post some of them 

ive got like 6 ear piercings, my ears stretched to 7/8′ and both nostrils plus my septum !!

why did you join tumblr?

in the 8th grade my friend talked about tumblr n she was rly cool so i was like ILL BE COOL LMAO and never fuckin left

song you could listen to forever?

ace by taemin. straight up man

anything you want to add?

i’ll literally talk about anything???? mostly nct! im bad at responding but i love casual conversation sometimes :)